Have I ever shared this picture with you? If so, I apologize for the duplication. If not, you are now looking at one of my favorites pictures ever...you cannot see their faces...but I can...I can hear their laughter...I can smell the freshness of the air and feel the force of the rapids rush under the bridge. This was a great day and my favorite picture from the day is my children's feet, testing the water. They did not jump in, but they had fun dipping their toes.
For the most part, I am a private person....scratch that...the largest part of me is private, hidden and locked away...even from me sometimes. Things that I don't want to admit are happening, have happened or will inevitably happen are often tucked away, sealed in my heart like tiny envelopes that are seldom opened...maybe held up to the light to spy what might be, but very rarely do I open these secrets from myself. Sounds a bit crazy, neurotic, maybe even deceitful...but it has always worked for me. Worked for me how? To help me cope when life has been less than perfect ...overwhelming....surprising. But this is only true for the not so perfect stuff. If you know me, you know I am usually smiling because I choose to be happy. I don't like to air dirty laundry, in my most honest opinion, somethings should just be private. Because I choose to be happy and hide the uglies away I (usually) only blog about happy things. Good? Yes and no. It doesn't make for an authentic look at who this really is that you are getting to see on this blog. I think I began this blog as a way to move beyond the Empty Nest Syndrome, then began deluding myself as I reached 10,15,20 followers that I maybe could turn it into a sort of an informative blog, because I do love to organize the home, throw parties, cook, decorate, etc...but then I as began following so many other blogs, I soon began to realize that I have very little to offer ( not fishing - please don't comment on this statement) compared to others out there. Then my blog evolved into letters to my Momma...a way to keep her up to date because she was gone. But really, I can (and should) just email her the pictures and write her personal letters. Right? So, here we are back to the me being the private person that I am...since I feel as though the content of my blog is not anything that cannot be read on some other fabby blog, and I want to start being a better pen pal to Momma, and I journal my most private thoughts and feelings (tucking many away to never be written)in a pretty notebook for my eyes only, because I really do not feel the need to share them with the world, I believe my blog has lost it's function.
I am conflicted about social media...I want to stay in touch with certain people but not feel guilty because I don't want to add others as a "friend" on facebook...it is very disconcerting and confusing. I want to live a more simple life...so I read blogs about simple living and for some reason get the "oh! that's so cute, I need that...or I want this"... It's very defeating. I LOVE reading most of the blogs out there and gaining inspiration and ideas for certain things...I will miss Blondie's Journal, The Quintessential Magpie, Dimples and Dragonflies, Tales from Bloggerittaville....but I think I'd like to live in and out of my own head for a while...Momma understands. I have hundreds of books and magazines to be read, thousands of pictures to be printed and scrapbooked, and meals and goodies to make (from more than a hundred cookbooks).
Although I love getting comments about my posts, I really only need the love and appreciation of my PC and my family. However, with that I'd like to say thank you for reading and commenting, I appreciate it more than you can imagine. I feel a lot like the picture I shared with you...I didn't really jump into blogland, but I had fun dipping my toes. Now I'm off to finish decorating for the holidays with what I have on hand and not wishing for more! Have a very Merry Christmas and Great New Year.
Ta Ta!
