Looking Back and Forging Ahead

All changes are more or less tinged with melancholy, for what we are leaving behind is part of ourselves. ~Amelia Barr

It's been a emotional couple of weeks for me...my career as a teacher is a bout to come to a close.  I have been with my school for 13 1/2 years, it wasn't an easy decision. I love my job, I am the "funmaker" on campus - the Activities Coordinator.

I have had the pleasure of working with some of education's most talented people and the privilege of being apart of the best kids on planet's lives.  My kiddos have never called me Mrs. Crocker, I started out as Miss DeAnna, then it went to just "DeAnna" and then my name became Momma Dee (that one makes me cry).  They were my kiddos, they all have a place in my heart and each year as I was planning their graduation ceremony, I wanted it to be special for them, so that they would remember that they met life's first big hurdle - the passage from child to young adult  - with with dignity and grace.

I did my best to take care and educate of the kiddos who stepped into my classroom or sat at my desk...I feel like I am leaving a legacy of caring and enthusiasm. The kiddos come and go every year - some I saw through all 6 years at Excelsior, others I only had the privilege of being in their lives for a few, others have remained in touch and are truly dear and close to my heart. I am used to the kiddos leaving their mark and the process of bonding with new ones and the process repeats.  It's difficult.

But as I think about my colleagues...it is then I began to wonder, "did I make the right choice?"  I am having a hard time thinking about not seeing the friends that I have made in this 13 year journey everyday, I am having a hard time letting go of people that I probably have spent more time with in the last thirteen years than I have with my own family.

  

Then it hits me, that is why I made the choice...I have been gone too much for too long and I needed to change that.  PC has been the most supportive in my decision because he wants me around for much longer.  After my collapse in 2008, he fretted over me keeping the long hours and planning and doing the big (go big or go home is my motto) events I do with the kiddos. 

 He fretted I would be *gone* if I didn't give something up.  So I expressed all of this to some of my dearest friends and colleagues and they all supported my decision and are happy for me.

 However they are also sad, like me, that I am leaving their everyday lives. I'm not leaving the work force completely (I would go crazy).  I'm going to school to be a Nurse...a long lost dream that PC is encouraging me to fulfill.  Will it be easier than what I do now... I don't know if easier is the word but it will be different. 

 Friday night my "Sisters" threw me a surprise going away party with all the people that I will miss more than I can express, it was a beautiful evening filled with laughter and tears, as I am sure the next few days will be...but I am not *gone* I can still pop in for lunch or we can go have cocktails and of course, all the ladies are already planning their cookies for our Annual Exchange. The photos in this post are from the surprise party, in case you are wondering.

 I will miss them all deeply. Thanks for reading, time for some therapeutic puttering.  Tata for now!